The “New” Tipping Culture: How to Express Thanks Without Breaking the Bank
This year, tipping – the custom of adding a gratuity to express thanks for exceptional service – seems to have run amok in the U.S. A recent article in The Guardian suggests the practice has always confused European tourists, but now, it’s also confusing Americans, who are seeing prompts for tips on nearly every payment transaction – including at self-checkouts!
If you think tipping requests are a bit out of hand, several studies bear you out: A survey by Bankrate found that 66% of Americans view tipping unfavorably, with around 30% saying the tipping culture is “out of control.” Nearly a third of patrons believe pre-entered tip screens are “aggravating,” and 41% think businesses should pay their employees more instead of asking them to rely on gratuities.
As we enter the holiday season, tipping fatigue is causing some Americans to keep their wallets closed at a time when giving is the norm. A survey by digital personal finance company Achieve found that 62% of respondents don’t plan to give holiday tips or purchase gifts for service workers this year. One factor contributing to tippers’ “bah humbug” response is that their budgets are already stretched by inflation, and “tipflation” isn’t helping.
If you’re used to giving holiday tips to your hairdresser, dog walker, house cleaner, or other individuals with whom you have an ongoing relationship, you may be wondering how the new tipping culture affects the annual gift you’ve given to valued service providers in the past. According to Care.com, experts recommend taking both your relationship and your budget into account. The site offers a table with suggestions on who and how much to tip:
| PERSON | SUGGESTED TIP OR GIFT VALUE |
| Au Pair | 1-2 week’s pay and an optional small gift from kids |
| Babysitter | Average day/evening pay for regular sitters and an optional small gift from kids |
| Barber | Up to the cost of 1 session |
| Bartender | $20 for someone you see regularly |
| Building Porter / Janitor | $25-$100, depending on involvement |
| Building Superintendent | $100-$200, depending on involvement |
| Cleaning Company | An extra 20-80%, depending on duration of relationship |
| Cobbler | $10-$20 or a small gift for someone you see regularly |
| Coffee Shop Barista | $20 for someone you see regularly |
| Contractor | Don’t tip |
| Country Club Staff | $25-$50 for someone you see regularly |
| Daycare or Child Care Center Staff | Gift card worth around $20 or a small gift |
| Dentist | Don’t tip |
| Doctor | Don’t tip |
| Dog Boarder or Kennel Staff | Handmade or baked goods |
| Dog Daycare | 10-20% of your pet’s stay |
| Dog Sitter | $50-$200 in cash or gift card, depending on frequency |
| Dog Walker | $50-$200 in cash or gift card, depending on frequency |
| Doorman | $25-$100, depending on involvement |
| Driver / Limo Service | $20-$50 or 20% of monthly bill |
| Dry Cleaner | $10-$20 gift card or homemade goods |
| Errand Runner | $50 to 1 week’s pay, depending on how often you use |
| Fitness Instructor | Cost of 1 session or a small gift |
| Food Delivery (Local restaurants, Uber Eats, Doordash, etc.) | $20-$30 for someone you see regularly |
| Garbage Collector | $10-$30 per person |
| Gardener / Landscaper | $20-$30 |
| Gas Station Attendant | $10-$20 for someone you see regularly |
| Hairdresser or Colorist | Up to the cost of 1 session (or a gift if you tip well throughout the year) |
| Handyman / Handyperson | $25-$50 |
| House Cleaner | $20-Up to the cost of one visit |
| Housekeeper | An extra 20-80%, depending on duration of relationship |
| Kids’ Activities Instructor | Small gift from your kids or gift card |
| Kids’ Coach (Athletics) | Small gift from your kids or gift card |
| Live-In Help (housekeeper, senior care aide, nanny, chef, etc.) | 1-2 week’s pay |
| Mail Carrier | Non-cash gifts under $20 |
| Massage Therapist | Up to the cost of 1 session for someone you see regularly |
| Mother’s Helper | Average day’s pay for regular helper and a small gift from your kids |
| Nail Tech / Manicurist | Up to the cost of 1 session |
| Nanny | 1-2 week’s pay (possibly more if the nanny has been with you a long time). For new nannies, one day’s pay for each month of employment |
| Newspaper Carrier | $10-$30 |
| Nurse (in-home nurse, private nurse) | Small gift and a handwritten note |
| Nursing Home or Assisted Living Community Staff | Homemade gift or gift card |
| Package Delivery Person | Small, non-cash gift |
| Parking Garage Attendant | $10-$20 for someone you see regularly |
| Personal Assistant | Up to 1 week’s pay |
| Personal Chef | 1-2 week’s pay or cost of one session, depending on frequency |
| Personal Trainer | Cost of 1 session |
| Pet Daycare Staff | Handmade gift or baked goods |
| Pet Groomer | Up to the cost of 1 session |
| Pet Sitter | $50-$200 in cash or gift card, depending on frequency |
| Pet Trainer | Don’t tip |
| Physical Therapist | Don’t tip |
| Pool Cleaner | $25-$50 |
| Postal Worker / Mail Carrier | Food, such as baked goods, or non-cash gift worth less than $20 |
| School Bus Driver | Small, non-cash gift |
| Senior Care Aide | Up to 1 week’s pay or small gift |
| Snow Remover / Shoveler | $25 |
| Tailor | Small gift for someone you see regularly |
| Teacher | $25 gift card and/or small gift from your kids |
| Teacher’s Aide / Assistant | Small gift from your kids |
| Tutor | Cost of 1 session and small gift from your child, depending on frequency |
| Veterinarian | Don’t tip |
| Waiter / Waitress | $20-$40 for someone you see regularly |
| Yoga teacher / Instructor | Up to cost of 1 session or small gift for personal teacher; no need to tip group instructor |
While Care.com’s list is long, Emily Post Etiquette says you shouldn’t feel obligated to go beyond your personal budget. The advice website says that if your budget doesn’t allow for tips, it’s also appropriate to consider homemade gifts or a short handwritten note of appreciation. If you already tip regularly, at the time of service, Emily Post Etiquette suggests you may forgo a tip at the end of the year, or provide a more modest gift or expression of thanks.
While tipping can be an excellent way to recognize people who provide you with great service all year, saying a heartfelt “thank you” is also acceptable if your budget doesn’t permit. Don’t allow tipping expectations to overwhelm your financial situation this holiday season!