Your New Normal: Early Steps for the Recently Widowed

Your New Normal: Early steps for the newly widowed
11.9 million – The number of widows in the United States per a 2023 U.S. Census Bureau report.
2,800 – The number of new widows daily.
59 – The average age of widowhood in the United States, according to a U.S. Census Bureau figure.
As a member of this large group, widowed several years ago and still in the process of ”figuring it all out,” I share a strong connection to the women represented by the numbers above.
There are many and varied topics and feelings to deal with when we lose a spouse or partner – emotional, spiritual, social, and financial, to name a few. The financial issues can be overwhelming and often complicate or interrupt the grieving process and working through other important issues.
In my experience, most families have a division of labor. It’s not efficient or practical to have both spouses or partners handle all areas of responsibility, so we tend to divide and conquer. This works well – until one spouse is no longer here. Then, the learning curve for the survivor can be steep. This is particularly true regarding finances; many will need help and guidance in this area.
We know the statistics and have friends and family who have gone through this transition, but it is still hard to be prepared when the time comes. It is common and reasonable to experience high levels of uncertainty and anxiety when so many important decisions must be made. There can be seemingly endless lists of tasks; while several are time-sensitive, many can wait.
Information overload is common, and the phone calls and emails will be rolling in. Remembering who you’ve spoken to, about what, and what’s next can be a challenge. I have found a few easy steps that can bring some calm and order in the early days. Systems and lists are good!
Names and numbers
Begin keeping a list of the names and phone numbers of people you need to talk to—your attorney and financial advisor, for example. Of course, you’ll speak to many family members and friends, and asking one of them to be your point of contact can provide great relief.
Phone log
List the date, who you talked to, and what you discussed. You might also keep track of what your next step is on this topic or with that person. This doesn’t have to be fancy or high-tech; a sheet of paper or a notebook near your phone is a great tool.
Filing system
You will need and will be asked for certain documents during this transition. Sometimes, you’ll be asked for the same document multiple times, so a temporary filing system will be very helpful and can save a lot of time and frustration spent searching. Even a simple box to store incoming mail and necessary documents that you pull from other files can be a good start. From there, set up files for insurance, tax forms, estate documents, and anything else that you want to have at the ready when someone asks you for yet another piece of paper.
These steps and the first few months of being on your own are the beginning of a new normal. Whether you were the spouse who handled the family finances or not, your financial life and responsibilities have changed. For those who were not regularly involved in financial and investment decisions, this can be a challenging time, but it can also be seen as a new opportunity.
It is important to work with professionals you trust who are willing and happy to spend time with you and answer questions about the next best steps for your specific and individual situation.
Seek professional advice to settle the estate and file tax returns. Getting specialized help from an attorney, accountant, and/or financial and tax professional can be invaluable during this stressful time.
Consider bringing a family member or friend with you to meetings so you will have an extra pair of eyes and ears to process information. An attorney can help you review your spouse’s will and other estate planning documents and start estate settlement procedures. If you are named executor in the will (or if you are appointed as the personal representative), you will be responsible for carrying out the terms of the will and settling the estate.
Settling the estate means following certain legal and administrative procedures to make sure that all debts are paid and all assets are distributed to the rightful persons. An attorney can tell you what procedures to follow. A tax professional can help you file certain federal and state tax returns that may be due. A financial professional can help you by conducting a comprehensive review of your financial situation. There are many resources available, but try not to get overwhelmed, and remember: ask for help!
This is intended for informational purposes only. You should not assume that any discussion or information contained in this document serves as the receipt of, or as a substitute for, personalized investment advice from Savant. Please consult your investment professional regarding your unique situation.
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